“Special”

After talking about my files, I guess Mr. Stinger thought putting me in Special Ed would help me “reach my potential.” But he doesn’t even know what I’m capable of! I thought that being in Special Education that I would go to a nice little room and meet with someone that would make my work seem a little more exciting. But no, instead I was placed in the hallway for all of my peers to watch me and make fun of me. I bet all of them had stories in their head about why I was sitting there in the first place. Do they think I’m stupid? Unlucky? Unloved? I bet if I put out a cup I would have made some change. The worst part is a lot of them would make fun of me by calling me “Sahara Special.” Before I was placed in the hallway, I thought the word special was a great word, that brought a lot of uniqueness to people and meant they were extraordinary but now I feel like its a mean word that people use to hurt me. I tried to ignore people when they said it but every part of my body heard it and it rattled in my bones.

The Special Ed teacher, who I called Peaches, cause I was too embarrassed that I forgot her real name, constantly reminded me to do my homework and I would just ignore her. I just imagined all of the notes she probably tried to take about me to add to “my file.” I never knew what to say to her. What was hard was sometimes Darrell Sikes would sit with us to do board games. He is truly a troublemaker; he likes to hurt other people and he has some BAD manners. But, we respect one another by not looking at one another. He would throw game pieces around or stop playing to ask irrelevant questions. I told my mom about Darrell and she got really mad! I wonder what will happen tomorrow!

cropped-words-have-power

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